stardust awards-backstage!

firstly why the hell is it called star “dust” ? guys pls tell me there is a deep meaning to this!

ok so i was among the lucky(?!) ones who got to be in the 10cm radius of bollywood hot bods yesterday. i must say i was rather excited and pissed both; excited for obvious reasons, pissed for reasons i can’t mention (let my internship get over, and i wil call a spade, a spade;)) . so for all u movie buffs, i meet the unassumingly stunning farhan akthar, my husband of next life-akshay kumar, gorgeous n thin-kajol, nose job and more-priyanka chopra, sallu( sorry bhai, may ur dog RIP), i m now competition for al pachino-anil kapoor, asin- whos cutey pie dad gave me her card, shreya saran – who i thot was asin and  guess wat guys!! I SPOKE TO HER AND CALLED HER ASIN ASIN some 5 times!!  either she cursed me in her head or felt all precious that i equated her with asin. arre but wat i can do, these two look so alike!! apologies shreya! …then there was lovely vidya balan, i smoke my son’s ciggerette-kiran bedi, that smita patil’s hot son in jaane tu with short hair (why fellow, why??!?!), saif + kareena who went ‘saiiifuuuuu’ wit a lot of lust..er..luuurrvee.., ofcourse big B who wore wierd clothes and had wierd hair but still had his stunning persona in place. the lesser mortals, i love them all (but thats how they were treated), were amrita rao(OOOFF IRRITATING), ameesha (OUTRIGHT RUDE), tusshar (4’3”) ,vivek oberoi, dino, celina etc etc. 

 i totally agree they are all stars, i totally agree that they work their asses off to get where they are, and i totally dig into hindi cinema and most of these actors…. but i say this very sadly that the whole process felt so GOD DAMN SHALLOW.  i was observing myself of how i was behaving utterly doglike when i saw these actors while the lovely dancers and make up artists and all the paraphernelia where running around with no help. i wondered why amitabhji has so many body gaurds, i mean hes makes india proud, but who really has the time or interest to harm him? but i guess he must hv his reasons like everyone else have their reasons to be so fake from within and without.

each one of us is so special na>? ( sorry for this sudden insightful line.hehe). i realised this once again yesterday, that if i behaved doglike with those guys , i might as well behave doglike with everyone on this planet and pamper the hell out of everyone who is breathing! cos its all about breathing anyway! lou u all ! jai guru dev!

HAIL RAJNIKANTH! HAIL TAMIL NADU!

“naa lateah varuvein ana latestha varunvein!”

majja aa gaya bhai! for the unlucky ones, the loose translation to the abou line  izz-  i come late but i come like latest! and with wat attitude i say!beaudy! udder;) beaudy!!

both the lucky and unlucky brand of breathers may check out this site to get abs out of laughter!
jai ho!

www.bosskaboss.com

hide & seek

the game; my pals and i were discussing fun childhood times. the main topic of conversation was ofcourse tipri, lagori, land and water & the all famous hide and seek! my pal ( cant take her name , you will know why) shyly shared how she used to get really excited when she used to hide because of which she used to invariably want to take a leak! haha.. we all blushed ( as we had similar experiences) and laughed heartily as we were transported to those amazingly cute times of our tiny existence.

the biscuit; what a delectable square of creation it is! it is among the few biscuits that i can devour in large numbers. in the recent past, it has been among my top 3 favourites. the other 2 are bourbon ( mind u, only that half which has the cream on it) and parle G when dipped in hot tea! *drool*

play more! eat more!

smiles

Purpose of existance UNVEILED

tommy tickled children, take the crap, tamilian temptress cinema, the talking cat, taste this cheese, theraputic treatment for Cramps, tickle true consciousness, thick trimmed curls, tera theesra chaata….no no no!! Teacher’s training course..yes! yes+! yes++! this is what i was subjected to in the past 21 days. the course defies laws of the human body and mind. and brings one closest to universal consciousness.

deep gratitude.

WHEN 22 BECAME 2.

Once upon a time there were 3 blind mice, they loved to fart. They took the help of Pinnochio’s dad to build a small home for their family. Very ambitiously they planned a ballroom party as their house warming ceremony. Obviously Cinderella, Snow white and Hansel were invited. No one forgot their shoes! Suprise!!! Sadly none of them could enjoy the ball cos they couldnt enter the house of the mice. The dwarfs had fun though. The girls went back home hungry and ate the bread crumbs gratel had dropped few years ago. They walked through the jungle through the night gossiping. The sun came up and they were still walking and talking. Girls! Snow white developed heat boils as the sun was beating down on them. Cinderella got loose motions due to food poisoning thanks to ancient bread crumbs. Then she ate the apple that snow white had brought as gift for the mice, but dint give cos the apple got stuck in their door. Cinederalla gobbled down the apple and obviously her health got better. Two negatives make a positive.Voila! They were tired so they sat down to play a game. The game was to make maximum words from Rumpeltstiltskin. Guess who won? Rapunzel. Forgot to mention. She had joined them at half past six. She won the game cos while she was locked in that castle for many years, she was doing just that. They all studied fashion designing in the palace of the naked king. The latest fashion discovery were hooded clothes. But the only one who could afford it was red riding. All thanks to her hardworking grandmother. The other women dint even have mothers to care for them. But sometimes lovers can be more caring. So they never really missed family. They hung out in cosy places with their horse riders until mowgli came and spoilt their fun. Mogli and Meshwa and Simba and Nala always went on double dates. they eventually got married in madagascar. it was the best rave party ever. i like to move it move it. u like to? MOVE IT. there was lot of fireworks. Peter pan entered late. Hansel fell in love at first site. fireworks. The 3rd blind mouse was pregnant with jerry. fireworks. Rapunzel won a gift for wackiest hair do. fireworks. Mr. and Mrs. Shrek won the award for the most romantic couple. fireworkds. They all lived in the magic world of innocence and beauty. the rest is history. they all lived happily ever after. THE END.

EXPERIMENT :- ST BUSES

AIM: To use ST bus and reach LP,Nerul bus stop at the earliest.

APPARATUS: ur stupid self, a dilapidated ST bus.. (ha! if u find a non dilapidated one, i owe u a treat.)

PROCEDURE:
1. Wait at busstop n let 5 overflowing ST buses go by.
2. Lose hope,climb the 6th which is as full if not fuller.Enter the world of stinky men/non men.
3. Stand like ur a wax model at Madam Tussads’.Try breathing.Buy ticket by passing ur money to conductor thru 13 humans infront/beside/behind/above/below/on u.
4. Enjoy the massage, let the sound of nuts n bolts n blowhorns rape ur ear drums,allow creatures to squash each of ur 10 toes.Try breathing.
5. Incase the bus reaches and thereafter stops wherever u wanna get off,n incase ur at 2cm distance from the door(the handle of which opens upwards mind u!huh),get off.Breathe.

THEORY:
ST buses can be divided broadly into dadar ones(ugly) n thane ones(uglier).thou similar on the whole in terms of filth,overcrowdedness,fetor….the thane one’s rattle a bit more n comprise of mainly the lower strata of indian civilization while the dadar one is for the elite..both leave u stewed nonetheless.
Now, having experienced both kinds extensively,lemme share few happenings..
I have had fisherwoman drop fish water all around me..even pple who relish fish can puke when subjected to such aroma therapy,,,n me veggie also!!Ok ,u want worse? How about armpits of millworkers who cant even spell ‘AXE’ leave alone use it!..Once there were these 60 something men holding on to many many cans of kerosene..(well it was one of those lucky days when i managed to rest my ass on 3×3 sq.inch green sweaty seat)..and as per routine the bus jerked and lo behold..no points for guessing…the kerosene was all over my orange transluscent pant..the men had only blank stares to offer for such courtesy.Yeah! and i hv babysitted too…gawd!someone educate these pple abt contraceptives! Women tag along wit more kiddos (they come in all sizes) than fingers in their hand.and the baby on my lap made sure it strangled me wit the many chains i adorned..smartass!I hv had the privilege to sit in the cockpit,i.e the noisiest, sootiest area in the bus.By the end of it i was a deaf african.Haan , and more often than not, u can see the bumpy roads ur travelling on cos the bus ought to hv holes in its base,(lets say for ventilation),to live up to its name.
All said n done, kudos to these ST drivers,,,valor they possess i tell u,,,they are like men walking into a battlefield..gosh they wont stop even to mend a puncture! they’ll drag their red n yellow injured pony n even whip it if need be !Whatever the holy mess,be it a bandh, a dirty accident, floods…Mr.ST bus wil wade thru wit unabated enthusiasm..(see i hv resorted to giving it human status also.so much for slick n cheap transportation.)

CONCLUSION:
To have experiences to die for…or actually die….use ST my dears..if not anything else..atleast it wil give u a reality check.(reach ur destination u will ..without doubt..but wit a twist..watever kind ..hehawhaw)

P.S.-Promises are meant to be broken they say..but i believe i kept mine (i made one in the last line of my last post ,duh!)……or did i?

WE DONT NEED NO E-DU-CA-TION

U must not do engineering if…..

-If u suffer from “sue the mumbai university ” syndrome.
-If u hv suicidal tendencies.
-If u donot follow the 26 regional languages used by profs.
-If u cant celebrate a Year Drop.(even if u scored a 98 PCM!)
-If u cant wait up on ur viva examiner longer than ur bf/gf.
-If ur parents convince u that a BE degree wil make u rich n secure.
-If u dont hv a store house of coffee to keep u awake for 4 yrs.
-If u arnt game to sacrifice daddy’s salary on xerox shops.
-If being on the defaulter’s list doesnt fill ur heart wit immense pride.
-If 40 isnt ur favourite number.
-If 39 is ur favourite number.
-If u get intimidated by books weighing more than u.
-If mugging afro/latin/greek symbols isnt ur definition of knowledge.
-If u cant write piles of journals/assignments only to improve ur handwriting.
-If after all the effort for the above, they still flunk u in ur internals,”just for kicks”.
-If self pity is ur most prevalent trait.
-If the only piece of techonology that inspires u is Bluetooth.
-If u cant answer: WHY ME? ,every day of ur engineering life.
-If hardwork n consistency mean more to u than luck n prayer.
-If u loathe studying when the country;s colleges are on vacation( read May/December).
-If u hv accepted the fact that ur gona end up as a house wife/work at a call center.
-If u cant master 6 new subjects in 2 weeks of prep leave for each of 8 sems.
-If u are a devoted party animal.
-If u cant make robots move even after working 25/7 on them.
-If u are good at something else…..anything else!
–IF?????U MUST NOT DO ENGINEERING.PERIOD.