Tag Archives: Childhood

my fattee buddies-Part 7

2 Mar

i take a vow on this massive internet space that the weddings mentioned below, will be the last 2 that i will be attending. my other friends needn’t feel offended cos in all probability, you my dear, are already married! people call it the wedding season, in my case, it feels like a damn decade of only clapping and weeping at weddings!! such overdose will ensure extreme boredom at my own, thats for sure!

but this march is special. cos 2 of my besties will enter wedlock with their respective gorgeous lovers.
let’s take them one at a time.

aditi & srini. they also know each other. for which i take full credit.

aditi & srini. they also know each other. for which i take full credit.

Aditi mokashi, loving called adito by me, is my 2nd oldest real friend. we date back to the time of the dinosaurs. actually, earlier. around the time when Hritik jumped into the movie business. i say this, cos adito & i shared stage space in our maiden bollywood  performance on “ek pal ka jeena” from the legendary kaho na pyaar hai. it shames me today, but to our credit, we aped every step real hard.:) there was chamki throwing for effect, as we entered stage.so much for misplaced innocence. truth be told, we were vying for attention from atleast one of the 10th std guys who we were farewelling, even if it was their very last day in school.

Must tell u, that adito’s family has a unique trait of being the epicentre of situational comedy. and when she laughs, her whole shareer laughs not sparing her little toe. it’s nearly as if a child is trapped in the body of a grown up. Speaking of grown up’s a little birdie told me and some of u who hv received the wedding invite, that a hawa ka thanda jhoka (a.k.a samir) has managed to sweep our lady off her feet. he has little idea how lucky he is:).

In the recent past, adito has ran many a marathons & has taken to fitness very seriously, barring the occasional indulgence (background score: manushya ke sponge samaan phepde…..itna tar, aapko bimaar…bahut beemaar, karne ke liye.. kafi hai. LOL. fully faltu ad.) Sources say, even when Samir went on his knee, Adito was spotted with her running shoes! Aptly so. Zero pun. Only prem ❤

Dearest adito, with all the meditating power vested in me, i pray that samir and u travel every square inch of this planet together and laugh into the sunset. and if, by the time of ur 75th anniversary, the smart ones discover life on another planet; may u travel there too, hand in hand.

Bestie no.2 also happens to be my bro, Sriniiii!!

He’s only the 2nd person i have tied rakhi to after Indradweep from 5th std who was rakhified cos he had the most epic handwriting & the fountain pen never blotted on his fingers. ouch, drift. ya, so when i met srini, i had this overpowering feeling of wanting to be protected by him. so he was the – right choice baby, for a macho brother from a different mother, yo!:) but how did we meet? brace urself …(karan johar accent)… We 1st met on Orkut!!! Truly embarrassing for Mark Zukerberg. 1-nil, fellow!

I once managed to convince srini that i had a giraffe for a pet. but don’t u do the mistake of judging his IQ based on this, cos u do know that intelligence is measured by the no. of folds in the brain right? (I do take uber facts very seriously on twitter :))
so here’s the formula:
Srini’s brain folds = (Einstein -1) brain folds = Summation of brain folds of all my family members (FYI- my dad has 7 siblings)
Point being, srini knows everything about everything which fundamentally ensures that, around him, u feel like a twerp/retard or both. his drop dead looks, over the top wit, smouldering sense of humour, velvety people skills also further the cause. perhaps thats why his cells multiplied overtime in hope that the world gets 2 srinis’. but it doesn’t work that way you pathetic blobs of protoplasm! the world will have to make do with just one awesome srini:)

His achievements include swimming with sharks and studying in Cambridge University where he actually visited the cafe where Sonia served as waitress (per chai wale ki chai ka majja videshi cafe me kahaan! vote for NaMo!!) Ooops, continental drift.
I am of the belief that a person who hasn’t done AOL, hasn’t meditated; has not really experienced true joy. but i see an exception to this rule in Srini’s wife-to-be, Mitali. She’s such a fountain of joy & its nearly jarringly apparent, how much of a pure soul she is! her eyes often reduce to a line beautifully decorated with kohl, cos she is perennially in a state of wonder, giggling away. I am already amazed at the magical genes their kids will be endowed with.

The warmest hug, a slurpy kiss & all my love to both the couples!

the maid-of-honour

31 Jul

People come and go though we don’t like it that way. Kalpana taai, my x-house help is among those important people..  She pampered me so much (but ofcourse worshipped my brother! irritatingly, the whole world’s partial to that fellow); provided hot food, superb massages, kept the house spic and span as if it were a museum.

So frail at 60, she had the energy of a youth. She would barely reach my shoulder, and i am short. But u cross her path, and u wudn’t be spared. The only earning member of her useless family, I was so inspired by her zeal.

She loved to adorn her hair with flowers and made rocking nimbu paani. She would rather work than sit for pooja! She wud rather work than sleep. She basically loved working! Which was so refreshing, especially for my mom! Perhaps the only bad habit she had was she wud chew tobacco. Taai was too up tight to care for my constant nagging against it. She wud act as if i was talking to the fan and give me a look which when translated, read, “this is the only thing i do wrong, so deal with it gurl!”

In my house she managed the materialistic abundance with élan against going back to her home where she had to walk a mile and stand in queue forever to fill 2 buckets of water.(god can be cruel at times!! grrrhh)
Unfortunately she doesn’t come home anymore. Where ever u are kalpana taai, i love u.

i am a mommy!

30 Jan

 

while growing up.. i never really had stuffed toys..infact my folks were strictly against the barbie business also. the few i possessed were birthday gifts. i was quite irritated abt this actually..

but wat the heck! now, i am a proud mommy of 3! *tear in eye*

 

  1st one is zulu(boy)…he’s taken an oath to go veg, wat with the present day global warming scene n all. 

on the right is ping(girl)…actually shes’s zulu’s twin..(got them from the same store;))..but i rarely get confused between the 2 cos one is spotted and one’s not..god has been kind in that sense.

      and this one’s the youngest, bozo(boy). he mostly accumulates fat in his free time. also he                           skillfully crawls under my head when i am asleep. that is, if he is awake in the first place.

  all my lil one’s have an accent cos they are internationals. zulu n ping are from london while baby bozo’s from bangkok.super cuteness no?

  they hv all clearly gone on me;) yay i am proud mommy of 3!

 

Tacky full forms of bad words.

19 Feb

Hahaha… before i get started also i am laughing in antisipation of wat is in store in this post..

this post will epitomize most of our sillyness while we were teens. (that is only if you were as much a wannabe as me and my brother!!)

harish (the other wannabe) and i were getting nostalgic yesterday by calling each other ‘BAD WORDS’ and reciting their fullforms proudly!

here goes;

The commoners used..

MAD – My Adorable Darling and  PIG – Pretty Indian Girl  

The Cooler ones however, used….

STUPID – Smart, Talented, Useful(/Usless) Person in Demand!!!   ( at its corniest best)

and our very desi full form of the gaali IDIOT – I DO ISHQ ONLY TUMSE!!! HAHAHHAAHA

so when we used these words in school, the others around used to tease and all saying  ” oooh u called him darling, that means you like him, cheeeeeeeee”

haha,, it all seems like a bad dream! haha!

nowadays ofcourse we have classic abuses, which when used often leads to a serious fight. Sad.

culturing one’s speech and tweaking it with one’ s own creativity is the call of the day! infact there has been some research done by a Japanese scientist about the effect of words on water crystals hence human beings…cos we are more or less water bodies only wrapped with skin! the research yeilds astounding results! to learn more apply for the next YES!+ course in your vicinity! c u there,  STUPID 😉

WHEN 22 BECAME 2.

8 Apr

Once upon a time there were 3 blind mice, they loved to fart. They took the help of Pinnochio’s dad to build a small home for their family. Very ambitiously they planned a ballroom party as their house warming ceremony. Obviously Cinderella, Snow white and Hansel were invited. No one forgot their shoes! Suprise!!! Sadly none of them could enjoy the ball cos they couldnt enter the house of the mice. The dwarfs had fun though. The girls went back home hungry and ate the bread crumbs gratel had dropped few years ago. They walked through the jungle through the night gossiping. The sun came up and they were still walking and talking. Girls! Snow white developed heat boils as the sun was beating down on them. Cinderella got loose motions due to food poisoning thanks to ancient bread crumbs. Then she ate the apple that snow white had brought as gift for the mice, but dint give cos the apple got stuck in their door. Cinederalla gobbled down the apple and obviously her health got better. Two negatives make a positive.Voila! They were tired so they sat down to play a game. The game was to make maximum words from Rumpeltstiltskin. Guess who won? Rapunzel. Forgot to mention. She had joined them at half past six. She won the game cos while she was locked in that castle for many years, she was doing just that. They all studied fashion designing in the palace of the naked king. The latest fashion discovery were hooded clothes. But the only one who could afford it was red riding. All thanks to her hardworking grandmother. The other women dint even have mothers to care for them. But sometimes lovers can be more caring. So they never really missed family. They hung out in cosy places with their horse riders until mowgli came and spoilt their fun. Mogli and Meshwa and Simba and Nala always went on double dates. they eventually got married in madagascar. it was the best rave party ever. i like to move it move it. u like to? MOVE IT. there was lot of fireworks. Peter pan entered late. Hansel fell in love at first site. fireworks. The 3rd blind mouse was pregnant with jerry. fireworks. Rapunzel won a gift for wackiest hair do. fireworks. Mr. and Mrs. Shrek won the award for the most romantic couple. fireworkds. They all lived in the magic world of innocence and beauty. the rest is history. they all lived happily ever after. THE END.

SURROGATE REBIRTH

14 Jun

The Barbie broke,blue eyed,
Questions and more,friends chide.
Awoken,by the lion’s roar,
Napkins from a grocery store.
Teacher,teacher goes the game,
Now its who am I? Wheres my fame?

Dance for guests,sing temple song,
Check ones waist,the line of a thong.
Cook n clean,burnt fingers,
Does he love me….thoughts linger.
Chicken pox,popeye,alladin,
Stoned ,hash,vodka,gin.

Naked in the sun,lisp on tongue.
Left now with layers of dust.
No doubt,lotsa lying n whining,
Folks say,”u grown up!stop crying!”

Innocence stays,intelligence lost,
Intelligence stays,innocence frost.

Now now..hoping u hv read the verses above and made little or no sense of it..
i urge u to read them again..this time acknowledging that ..
every odd line represents “adolescence”
& every even line represents “youth”…..

STITCHED BEFORE TIME

14 Jun

Is the drone just for me
Or all prevailing?
Bumble bees yield honey,
There is none here.

The sleep of youth in me..
Slashing every vein,
Fondling teasingly my nerves,
Missing beats in synchrony..

Like the taste of grapes,
I stay in gloom..
Of my likes and dislikes alike,
Is this a sign of mocked abstinence?
For,the me in this body is upon the rack.

Cacophony of misunderstandings within
Does prayer help?
Tropical serum with clots of blood,,,
Relishing it, I detest those flesh.

Sliced & slivered,
Meat balls of rolling stones,,,,
Feeling sacred sometime..
But for most,well curtained frown beholds.

Fleeting glimpses is all I get,
My bodygaurd from Mr.Homiside.
Ticking away in way of time,
I lay in deep disturbed sleep of aeroplanes..

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