shambarr hui gavaaa!!

24 Jan


If God is within, I hope he likes enchiladas!

My wife says I should get up and go to work, but the voices in my head say I should stay home and clean my guns.

Life is short. So buy the shoes!

Avoid alliterations always.

Dyslexics are teople poo.

Say “NO” to drugs. That will bring the prices down.

An Apple a day keeps Windows away.

This bumper sticker intentionally left blank.

Double your drive space. Delete Windows.

I’m Canadian. It’s like being American, but without the gun.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.

The meek shall inherit the earth, after we’re through with it.

Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.

Jesus loves you! Everybody else thinks you’re a jerk.

Lawyers have feelings too (allegedly).

If there is no God, who always pops up that next Kleenex?

Forget world peace; visualize using your turn signal.

People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

Every time you open your mouth, some idiot starts talking.

The box said Windows 2000 or better. So I installed Linux.

Use the best: Linux for servers, Mac for graphics, Windows for Solitaire.

So many cats, so few recipes.

Save the trees, wipe your butt with an owl.

Don’t make me mad. I’m running out of places to hide the bodies.

Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors.

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

On the journey of life, I choose the psycho path.

On your mark, get set, go away!

What would Scooby do?

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

I am not infantile, you stinky poopyhead.

To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.

Visualize Whirled Peas

Practice safe lunch: Use a condiment.

Follow that car, Godzilla – and step on it!

Procrastinate now.

Rehab is for quitters.

My dog can lick anyone!

I have a degree in Liberal Arts – do you want fries with that?

Do they ever shut up on your planet?

Who are these children, and why do they keep calling me Mom?

The trouble with life is there’s no background music.

Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.

Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

If you are what you eat, I’m fast, cheap and easy.

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be…?

I’m not crazy, I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

You – Off my planet.



8 Responses to “shambarr hui gavaaa!!”

  1. AparnA January 25, 2011 at 10:25 am #

    LOL… good one πŸ˜‰

  2. Amandeep Chugh February 1, 2011 at 9:05 pm #

    Some are hilarious.
    Some are too infantile or too poor. You choose. (Just like this)

  3. akismet-d995cfac832407bc035bcc97abc935ff February 2, 2011 at 9:49 pm #

    WOW !! Amazing πŸ™‚ specially the procrastination, windows and drugs !!

    and speaking of procrastinate… i remember one more:
    the only thing procrastinators don’t procrastinate is to PROCRASTINATE (and that includes me!!) πŸ™‚

  4. Pavneet February 7, 2011 at 9:03 pm #

    hey di,

    nice blog yaaar,

    this is my blog . Please have a look if u get time

  5. Akash Agarwal February 12, 2011 at 10:11 am #

    arey awsm collctn… i’m gonna share one on fb… d dyslexia one… its 2 gud.. XD

  6. kaepy February 17, 2011 at 7:01 pm #

    i like the HE Ha HAW part of it.. rest is too long…!

  7. Abhay Karnataki February 19, 2011 at 11:30 am #

    thanks for the laughing gas!!!

    If all the people stop walking, will the earth slow down and stop?

  8. Nanddeep February 24, 2011 at 10:18 am #

    Amoung others I liked
    “Jesus loves you! Everybody else thinks you’re a jerk.” πŸ˜€

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