ANGER. ANNOYANCE. ANGUISH.

14 Jul

“There is either chaos outside or inside. I prefer it outside.” – guruji
After what i am abt to share, u’ll be in serious denial with the above statement. I SURE AM! grrrhhh.

I am abt to embark a long journey to cool places in karnataka to share some laughter and knowledge. my schedule is precariously timed with just enuf time to pee once in a while. basically i am “doing” a guruji for the next few months. real excited!!
so i leave from banglore ashram intending to head to mysore by a thing called “jaipur express”. whoever called it a train is someone who mistkaes a stray dog for a poodle; kanta ben for an aishwarya rai; south indian panipuri for caviar.
Damn you! (100 times)

When i saw the “general” compartment approach platform no. 5, my eyes popped out n fell on the wet floor. there were drooling drunk men with clothes that exposed their fat belly; some even hung half of their unbathed body out of the train’s window. they slid out of it when the train stopped!! boy oh boy! among other disgusting smells, i could smell trouble sooo strong!

if u know me, u know my huge pink hard top samsonite, my violet bling yoga mat, my lovely black laptop sack, and chamki (i.e. my nikon D60). Just imagine na! all of 47kgs, adorned with these ornaments, coming face to face with the vaanarasena! was a rather romantic sight..
so i cheat, and enter the sleeper section which thankfully, among other things, had exactly 2 women, 2 screeching children (remember for future ref.) and a lot of lemon rice and banana peels acting as carpet in the boggie. oh yes…and traces of vomit. you wudn’t think i cud rest my pink samsonite in such la italiano marblelo flooringo.

the train was running late. late enuf for me to be just in time for my mysore schedule. there is a guru, thus proved.

i waited patiently for the train to move, chanting a few om namah shivayas for the lack of anything more sensible to do. the damn rattle machine began to jiggy wiggy making the most grothesque torture-the-ear drum drone. i thought it was starting trouble. no my dears. this symphony was produced for 4 continuous hours putting any ear plug, why, an iron screw to shame.

let’s go back to those screaming thunder bolt kids now. they were kicking me. for fun. yes. FOR FRIGGING FUN. i smiled with compassion for a good 30sec but then they wouldn’t stop! my compassion did. one of the monsters got a tini wini wound as the train took an ugly turn. there was exactly 1/50th a pin prick of blood oozing out of his foot. so wat does he do?
he begins to give competition to the piercing roar of the jaipur express. he shrieks like a maniac without even a drop of tear pouring out of those smartass eyes. his helpless dad does the ‘foo foo’ action to the clearly non existant wound. as if in fear, the wheels of my samsonite roll all over the train. by now i was in coma. nevertheless i managed to giggle in deep helplessness.

i had wit me for company, bawa’s book ‘everynight, josephine’ which is now out of print. so i was carrying heritage property in these wretched territories. the book is so well written, full of lovely humor. i lolled big time last night. but today no joke made me laugh, cos today, i was the biggest joke of them all.

i agree, this is a stressed blog post. but i sure did observe some beautiful things;
– the dad of those 2 monsters was such a lovely dude. he pampered/hugged/kissed them at regular intervals, fed them limbu rice and pyaar se told them not to kick me. he cud see no fault in his lil’ parcels of joy. his love was so thick, i could cut it wit a knife. parents r spcl things man. (ur time to go, awwwww….)
– if one noticed intently, the loud painful rattling of the train had a rhythm to it. after i resigned to my fate, it nearly sounded like music. and when the stations came, and the music died, i felt the meditative silence that prevails after u leave a death metal concert. knowledge struck!
-guruji is right! my mind was so empty, and i felt so light when i disembarked that jaipur obnoxious object. cos the source of chaos was outside. i was untouched. i had laughed at myself, written a blog post, fallen in love with my dad again, but most importantly i had saved my mind…

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21 Responses to “ANGER. ANNOYANCE. ANGUISH.”

  1. jedai July 14, 2010 at 1:04 am #

    LoL

  2. ruchi July 14, 2010 at 2:16 am #

    wohooooo….priya wot an experience…..love u maa…..miss u…..al d best….wot inspiration u need…u r alredy taken care of qutieeeeee…..tc al d best….u gonna rock…..muahzzzzzzzzzz

  3. ruchi July 14, 2010 at 2:17 am #

    yipeeeeee 1st one to comment……..

  4. sumanr July 14, 2010 at 1:26 pm #

    HA HA HA…nice write up priya. Yaa, even i observed that being with Guruji makes us see knowledge in the worst of the scenarios. And since you are “doing” a ‘Guruji’ in the next few months, contact me if you need a secretary :-))

    And yeah the ‘Guruji’ link on the first line does not work!!
    Maybe you wanted this site – http://wisdomfromsrisriravishankar.blogspot.com/

    JGD 🙂

  5. vasudha July 14, 2010 at 4:06 pm #

    my love ur observations wr d real deal! 🙂 u jus did a rajeshree patel wowzer!! xoxo!! mis lisnin to this 1st hand tho!! mwaaaa

  6. priyax July 14, 2010 at 4:13 pm #

    haha, wat a louly compliment.

  7. Shailendra July 14, 2010 at 6:06 pm #

    Good one… appreciate your writing skills..i could see the whole scene! 🙂

  8. kumar simha July 19, 2010 at 12:25 pm #

    hehe…awsum!..awsum!!…awsum!!!…jgd

  9. Prasanth July 20, 2010 at 4:50 am #

    Haha. really super funny post. you managed to make me laugh at 4.36 am when I am desperately trying to stay awake… hahaha… too good… I hope you get more such rides so that I can laugh reading them.

  10. rupal July 21, 2010 at 11:22 am #

    superrrrrrrrr…..loved the post….so funny….ur writing made me experience the journey that u had…..love u girl….rock the places…

  11. Mihir Joshi July 24, 2010 at 1:44 am #

    I loved the way you write things !! simply awesome ! chotu chotu details !! salam hai !

  12. priyax July 24, 2010 at 1:46 am #

    *blush*

  13. Khurshed July 24, 2010 at 10:08 am #

    Is the samsonite safe?!

  14. priyax July 24, 2010 at 10:18 am #

    haha.
    it is very much safe and resting in the sprawling bunglow of a sandeep reddy. considering that it contained my kriya tape, i respect ur question;)

  15. sharika July 28, 2010 at 11:29 pm #

    I knw ppl who are crazy but cant write crazy.. You are a marvel.. I love the way you write, very visual and nice subtle way of incorporating knwledge..

    p.s. now b a gud gal n ppost comment on my blog.. comment ka javab comment se dena :Dmwahahahaha

  16. Abhay August 1, 2010 at 5:19 pm #

    hahaha! left me laughing! very pictorial description… sure enuf the Indian Rail Ways gives a memorable experience of a kind!

  17. virat August 11, 2010 at 11:47 pm #

    Neat this!!! What a pleasure to read! Transported me to some of my “jaipur object” type experiences!! Salaam indeed hain!! 🙂

  18. Prakashini September 5, 2010 at 8:19 pm #

    ‘so…hum…’ = no “ANGER.ANNOYANCE.ANGUISH”!!!!
    Amazingly and hilariously creative writing! Hats off! Enjoyed it… Reality in a very real and funny way…!! 🙂

  19. Pragya September 17, 2010 at 1:45 am #

    hey what Jaipur Express did you travel in??? I have been in that train so often and thats my fav train!!! (mainly cause its a complete veggie train!!)

    and what is with Virat mentioning this “Jaipur object” type experiences??!!
    What are you people talking about Jaipur??!!!

    About the post– I just felt I was there travelling with you Priya… Its like the first hand experience!!!

  20. priyax September 22, 2010 at 1:22 am #

    pragya! i was travelling in the nearly free ticket class. so it was obviously exactly as i hv written. 😉

  21. priyax September 22, 2010 at 1:22 am #

    and its no use if a train is veggie, if it makes u feel like a slaughtered animal na;);)

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