my most expensive pee and such like pandemonium

29 May

i have more than one reason for using the word ‘pandemonium’ as part of the post heading. let me elaborate.

firstly, it reminds me of my school principal, mrs.rao, who, 7am every weekday of 4yrs, barked, “why is lilavati always in such a state of chaos and pandemonium?”  in the public address system. (u shud know woman~!) ofcourse, the prayer and jana gana mana followed. so u see, the word carries nostalgic essence.

secondly, this post is a prelude to my euro trip posts. i am on a euro trip by the way. well it’s almost like a Thomas Cook-Concentration-Camp-Special(TCCCS). So with 30 odd oddly excited adults from around india (this “around” word here is inconceivably noteworthy. here’s why. every mumbaite is of the illusion that mumbaites=indians. ofcourse some flexi ones wud include delhites. big-time galat jawaab honey! big time!). ya so, these 30 adults came with their 15 kids. kids who must be mercilessly slaughtered for their decibel levels. pandemonium ensued.

thirdly, i wud like to mention here, of a must read rib tickling novel “the picnic and such like pandemonium” by a gerald durell. the book is about a bunch of utterly mad times the writer was exposed to while travelling in europe. boy oh boy! i excercised all my stomach muscles after those crazy indian lunches in restuarants mayur/rangoli/sangam in the heart of amsterdam/rome/switzerland respectively. TCCCS. my bad.

right. so having explained in unecessary detail abt the holy presence of the last word of my post’s heading; let me shift left ward.
my most expensive pee.
I bought a 50 cent ticket to take a god damn leak!  50cents i.e. 1/2euro i.e. 30bucks.
30bucks= 3 minute maids= 6 vada pavs= 30 pan pasands! all this flushed down the drain with some warm uric acid!

i still hv that ticket. its not any ticket. u gotto scan to enter and scan to leave!
also it has the date n time of my leak etched in history!!
for your reference- 22.05.10, 16.53! wow!
and on the otherside is a coffee ad! wow wow wow!

5.45am wake up call;
7am in the bus with ur luggage and passports in hand;
cross only when the sign is green and on the zebra crossing;
pls use the toilets before boarding. in italy there r 2 pots. one to do the deed, another to wash up. don’t switch the pots.
in europe they are very strict about all this, unlike INDIA. (yes sir. back home, we shit in the hall!)
by the way, the above was the elocution speech of our ‘guide’, which he recited everyday of his international career.
get a life desh drohi! simon, go back- TO YOU~!!

on this irked note, i summon u to study the map of europe cos the next post is going to take u through the gorgeous places i managed to devour between my expensive leaks and such like pandemonium.


8 Responses to “my most expensive pee and such like pandemonium”

  1. Nikhil Nilakantan May 29, 2010 at 8:43 am #

    One pot to do the deed?? Pretty subtle indeed… Live it up in Europe….

  2. tanu May 29, 2010 at 1:13 pm #

    he he he 🙂 really looking forward to the next posts 🙂 and meeting you soon soon

  3. suman May 29, 2010 at 5:26 pm #

    Most expensive pee HA HA HA 🙂
    Am sure every indian gone on a euro trip would have experienced this…including me 🙂

  4. manish May 29, 2010 at 7:03 pm #

    cool… enjoyed reading this one!

  5. priyax May 31, 2010 at 2:42 am #

    oh that rhymed nikhil!! good going!!;)

  6. Poonam Shah May 31, 2010 at 11:16 pm #

    hehehe!! 😀 most memorable tic haan !! enjoyed reading this completely!!!

  7. karpagavalli June 8, 2010 at 11:07 am #

    hahaha! Amazing language… only you can carry it off!!! 😛

  8. pratibha November 1, 2010 at 5:59 pm #

    Oh well, now u know why swiss roads are so clean! taking a leak is sooo damn cheap! coz honey, if yer pants leak on the roads (even if in some grassy corner visible to all human eye that passes by, the fairer sex included) it would set you back by 500 Euros( do the math, its 60+ to a Euro! now, 50 cents sure is a virtuall free leak! so unlike india no? where pavement peeing is free bu loo leaking costs a couple of rupees! No wonder our public toilets are cleaner than our roads! 😉 after all, one pays for a clean loo, but not for clean roads ( of course I do, bloody 33% of my not incosinderable income is paid as tax, but lets save that for another ranty day!)

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