P.M.S 101

3 Apr

Dear men and those women who can do push-ups during their periods,
you have no goddamn idea how lucky you are. even if you were osama bin laden, i wouldn’t wish ‘those days’ on you and the fiasco that precedes it and in some pathetic cases, follows also.

for starters don’t ignore a poker faced woman. even before being slightly harsh, or before cracking a vague joke to a lady, please second guess or better still, blatantly ask if she is pmsing. if yes, u should totally shut up. cos u are a menace as far as she is concerned. a burden on planet earth. more mentally excruciating than the unbelievable weakness that every finger and toe in her body feels.

let me take you through the physical madness. (no,no,no. the leaky bit is the nicest part. the itchy uncomfortable plastic is now like a body part.) for the lack of a cute metaphor, each muscle in the body softly shivers in pain much like the beginning of parkinson’s. in my case, even my voice quivers. this alongwith the constant cramps like a heavy metal background score. yes, the cramps! in the stomach, in the abdomen and the area that you popped out from. amidst all this, if u try to make your point, we will cry. and if you are a douche bag and call us a weepie, then i might as well curse you even if you aren’t osama. cos you my dear, are way worse.

take few minutes to mathematically calculate the trauma % in the life of my kind of woman. 3-5 days of periods, 1 week before/ after of agony. lets round it off to a cute 10 days. so thats 1/3rd of each month, i.e. 1/3rd of my kind of woman’s non-menopausal life. ridiculously unfair.

coming back; the shoulders crave for a massage, the calf muscles want to explode, the feet feel like being pampered by a loved one. only the feet. the rest of the body wants you to stay away as far as possible. however, intermittent visibility is much appreciated. surface if you have hot food to offer. or few words of praise. or both. some women i know, even vomit and find food annoying. like the 1st signs of anorexia. so recognise the kind, and offer something sour or fizzy to them. oh and i nearly forgot to mention loose motions, gas, or constipation which will most definitely show up like uninvited guests to make matters worse. i haven’t even begun about the emotional upheaval that prevails. bawling for no reason, insulting the people one loves the most, psychedelic concoction of extreme lust interspersed with extreme aversion, roller coaster mood trips, divorce treats; these amount to sweet nothings that may strike you like an innocent meteor by my kind of pms-ers. pardon us cos we know not what we say. (must admit that sometimes it’s a good excuse to state pure facts:)) nevertheless, gulp down the severe verbal diarrhea like a mango milkshake…like a loving mother who enjoys cleaning her baby’s poop.

even if you express considerable love in general, take this time out to make sure the reason you are here, and the process behind it, month after month, in every woman’s life, is worth it.
if i tread away from the topic a little to remind myself of the ruthless people who treat woman like an object, or like a lesser, weaker mortal; my insides fume in disgust and i feel this close to contemplating the worst. just so that i don’t sound like those horrid feminist who equate men to a used sanitary napkin, i am told even men go through similar monthly mental gymnastics on their kind of ‘days’. f.y.i. – we love u too.
we understand.
you have to give us that.
cheers to exchanging sexes next lifetime.
gentle reminder.
you will get what you give.

shifting gears to give some free advice to the pain bearers to reduce the pain if there is any such thing;
– shatavari tablets (ayurvedic magical spheres to be popped in daily)
– yoga/ surya namaskars on the non awful days
– 3-5 litres of water
– biannual virechana/shankha prakshaalan (google them)
– don’t use pills to postpone your period for any reason and don’t dunk in pain killers each month. assume you are getting a tattoo and bear the pain with a cool grin
– you mostly already use this magic of a creation, the electric hot water pack
– avoid gaseous food a week before your pathetic day
– keep busy
– write to vent out your frustration like i am doing presently and celebrate your creativity
– remind yourself that you are a lord-brahma-minion. super special, you cute lil’ creators!

signing off with the most creative nick name i have been bestowed with,
Priya.Mani.Subramanian

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Anna koot

18 Aug

Today being the day after the birth of Lord Krishna, gujju guys celebrate it as anna koot; meaning the day of making infinite dishes to rejoice both bodily (physical) and soulful (spiritual) abundance. the 1st abundance is satiated with food ofcourse and music and dance, and the 2nd kind, through knowledge. gujju’s basically just need an excuse to eat yummy food:) works for me cos they have such lip-smacking veg recipes, that spiritual abundance feels massively over-rated 😛

One such ‘bharela ringna bateta nu shaak’ recipe i shall share with u. IT IS LORD KRISHNA ON A PLATE. and if bhagvad gita were a dish, this would be it! i had tasted this shaak thing in bangalore ashram, when these extremely pretty darling gujju sisters shweta & krishna made it for bawa. and there would be enough left only for me to sniff it into my system. so this is their mother’s recipe, who i am told will give masterchef a run for its money! shweta and krishna can be both petite or notorious as the place demands. they can box a man’s face for misbehaving and also sit for hours in meditation with their bright-as-a-sun face. they are into hand-made jewelry and are touted the devis’ of rajkot when it comes to teaching art of living programs.

here’s the recipe. a good idea would be to make buttered phulkas and keep aside, cos u would want to immediately stall everything about ur life to drown in this shaak as soon as it is made.

IMG_20140818_115104 IMG_20140818_114753

THE bharela ringna bateta nu shaak  (ringna = brinjal)

ingredients:

– 5 small sized potatoes. smaller the better
– 8 brinjals. smaller the better again. these have to be those all-violet colored ones
(fun, irrelevant fact: the above 2 are my fav. most veg. if it were up to me i would eat them raw)
– 5 medium sized tomatoes chopped
– white til/sesame seeds (2 table spoons)
– basin (1 heap of a table spoon)
– groud nut powdered (2 table spoons)
– 2-3 garlic pods
– jaggery, haldi, red chilli powder, dhaniya jeera powder (1 teaspoon each) *the powders* for future ref.
– and the general (oil, hing, salt to taste, freshly chopped coriander)

method:

in a mixer, shove til, groud nut powder, garlic pods, basin and the powders and grind it. empty this stuffing masala in a large plate and add a tablespoon of oil for the masala to gather into an easily fillable texture. add salt to taste. i was instructed to add fresh grated coconut in the masala if i so desired. but because i am a tamilian, there is fresh grated coconut in every food item i eat, so much so that i am predisposed to be born as a coconut tree in my next birth. hence every chance to avoid that nut is welcome. u decide depending on ur ancestry and palate!

the potatoes and brinjal, u have to make 2 slits at 90 deg. such that if fully cut, they form 4 equal pieces. but ofcourse u don’t fully cut them. they are cooked as a whole. stuff the masala without kanjusee into the slits. potatoes require some artistry. i cut out tiny wedges to facilitate the process, if u know what i mean.

u need a cooker now. put 3 tablespoons of oil. throw in some hing. i am a hing fanatic. soon i will put hing in kheer also. i am one for those. i am the wron one to advice u on the hing amount. u decide. in go the tomatoes. they shud cook till the oil separates. carefully put the stuffed baingan and potatoes in. toss them without killing them mercilessly. they should basically remain whole until the very moment they enter ur mooh. add a glass of water. and let the cooker whistle 3-5 times.

open up. inhale infinity. garnish with little more salt if necessary and some lovely fresh coriander. done-danaa-done!!

happy gokulashtami 🙂
may the krishna in you…the eternal friend, philosopher and guide, shine through!

my fattee buddies-Part 7

2 Mar

i take a vow on this massive internet space that the weddings mentioned below, will be the last 2 that i will be attending. my other friends needn’t feel offended cos in all probability, you my dear, are already married! people call it the wedding season, in my case, it feels like a damn decade of only clapping and weeping at weddings!! such overdose will ensure extreme boredom at my own, thats for sure!

but this march is special. cos 2 of my besties will enter wedlock with their respective gorgeous lovers.
let’s take them one at a time.

aditi & srini. they also know each other. for which i take full credit.

aditi & srini. they also know each other. for which i take full credit.

Aditi mokashi, loving called adito by me, is my 2nd oldest real friend. we date back to the time of the dinosaurs. actually, earlier. around the time when Hritik jumped into the movie business. i say this, cos adito & i shared stage space in our maiden bollywood  performance on “ek pal ka jeena” from the legendary kaho na pyaar hai. it shames me today, but to our credit, we aped every step real hard.:) there was chamki throwing for effect, as we entered stage.so much for misplaced innocence. truth be told, we were vying for attention from atleast one of the 10th std guys who we were farewelling, even if it was their very last day in school.

Must tell u, that adito’s family has a unique trait of being the epicentre of situational comedy. and when she laughs, her whole shareer laughs not sparing her little toe. it’s nearly as if a child is trapped in the body of a grown up. Speaking of grown up’s a little birdie told me and some of u who hv received the wedding invite, that a hawa ka thanda jhoka (a.k.a samir) has managed to sweep our lady off her feet. he has little idea how lucky he is:).

In the recent past, adito has ran many a marathons & has taken to fitness very seriously, barring the occasional indulgence (background score: manushya ke sponge samaan phepde…..itna tar, aapko bimaar…bahut beemaar, karne ke liye.. kafi hai. LOL. fully faltu ad.) Sources say, even when Samir went on his knee, Adito was spotted with her running shoes! Aptly so. Zero pun. Only prem ❤

Dearest adito, with all the meditating power vested in me, i pray that samir and u travel every square inch of this planet together and laugh into the sunset. and if, by the time of ur 75th anniversary, the smart ones discover life on another planet; may u travel there too, hand in hand.

Bestie no.2 also happens to be my bro, Sriniiii!!

He’s only the 2nd person i have tied rakhi to after Indradweep from 5th std who was rakhified cos he had the most epic handwriting & the fountain pen never blotted on his fingers. ouch, drift. ya, so when i met srini, i had this overpowering feeling of wanting to be protected by him. so he was the – right choice baby, for a macho brother from a different mother, yo!:) but how did we meet? brace urself …(karan johar accent)… We 1st met on Orkut!!! Truly embarrassing for Mark Zukerberg. 1-nil, fellow!

I once managed to convince srini that i had a giraffe for a pet. but don’t u do the mistake of judging his IQ based on this, cos u do know that intelligence is measured by the no. of folds in the brain right? (I do take uber facts very seriously on twitter :))
so here’s the formula:
Srini’s brain folds = (Einstein -1) brain folds = Summation of brain folds of all my family members (FYI- my dad has 7 siblings)
Point being, srini knows everything about everything which fundamentally ensures that, around him, u feel like a twerp/retard or both. his drop dead looks, over the top wit, smouldering sense of humour, velvety people skills also further the cause. perhaps thats why his cells multiplied overtime in hope that the world gets 2 srinis’. but it doesn’t work that way you pathetic blobs of protoplasm! the world will have to make do with just one awesome srini:)

His achievements include swimming with sharks and studying in Cambridge University where he actually visited the cafe where Sonia served as waitress (per chai wale ki chai ka majja videshi cafe me kahaan! vote for NaMo!!) Ooops, continental drift.
I am of the belief that a person who hasn’t done AOL, hasn’t meditated; has not really experienced true joy. but i see an exception to this rule in Srini’s wife-to-be, Mitali. She’s such a fountain of joy & its nearly jarringly apparent, how much of a pure soul she is! her eyes often reduce to a line beautifully decorated with kohl, cos she is perennially in a state of wonder, giggling away. I am already amazed at the magical genes their kids will be endowed with.

The warmest hug, a slurpy kiss & all my love to both the couples!

the year that was…super duper fruper epic!

31 Dec

my 3 mega milestones of 2013:

1) SUPER: guruji’s stay at our home
its said, lucky are the ones, who are curious abt the mind and the universe; luckier few get to hear abt art of living and get to experience sudarshan kriya; bhaagyashaali are those who pursue the path of self enquiry and saubhaagyashaali are ones who have a living enlightened master! and how much ever i try and think what on earth i have done in my many past lives, to have an enlightened master stay in my room, my creative imagination fails miserably.
The entire family got together to cook all satvic tamil delicacies for guruji’s dinner. He arrived after a very long day of playing four corners all over mumbai.:) I am told, while on his way home, he said that he was hungry and tired. 2 things i never thought he ever was! we were thrilled cos that meant he will devour all the food we made and rest well. but when he entered the building, there were 1000 devotees waiting at 10.30 pm. and because he is who he is, he met them all one by one. he then visited another devotee’s home in the building and did aarti in their puja ghar after which his soft and holy feet stepped into our home. mum n dad did paada poojai while we sang “enna thavam saidane”, a gorgeous tamil song that u shud hear and byheart in ur spare time.
we served him food, and all this while we were totally zonked that he was actually present at home in true physical form. joke is, after we served and waited for him to begin to relish, he innocently asked us “rice?” we jumped out of the hypnotic state and ran to get the rice from the kitchen. we had basically served all the paraphernalia and forgotten to serve rice with which one consumes the rest.(ask a south indian friend for detailed explanation). That night when i slept, i laughed in my head cos i generally say  “guru bhramha, guru vishnu…” before going to bed, but tonight the guru was just in the next room, so i safely skipped the prayer:)
After guruji left next morning, i ran to the bathroom that we had cleaned over 3 times, and checked if he had used any of the oil,soap,shampoos we had thoughtfully kept. we also fought to sit on the bed he slept and did kriya on it. after bhastrika, we were all lost in some state for half hour.
The one underlying feeling that i distinctly remember while he was at home is… home dint feel mine alone. It felt like it was everyone’s. that they owned it as much as i did. the feeling of belongingness was palpable.pri1

2) DUPER: upanayanam
These days, only brhamin boys are given the gayatri mantra which is said to be the mantra of mantras. i.e. that which empowers other mantras. But guruji, has opened it up for all castes and women cos that’s how it was originally. being brhamin was not by birth, but by choice. a brahmin is someone who’s intension is to learn, teach and spread spiritual knowledge. And from the time my brother go his thread ceremony done many years ago, i wondered if i would ever get the opportunity to do it. And i did! When you are given the gayatri mantra, it is said to be your “dwija” or second birth and half marriage. i wanted to be married by 27 (i am 27), so i guess i achieved partial target. to know that one is part of such an ancient tradition of the guru-shishya parampara, felt ethereal and eternal. the sacred thread are 3 in number and they signify 1) responsibility towards family, 2) responsibility towards society and 3) responsibility of sharing the knowledge one has gained. i know of many a tambram people, who happily get a lavish upanayanam done and then gorge on meat and guzzle beer. which is ok. but then, they boast of their high caste-ness. and thats not ok. all i have to say to them is, wait for your next life for ur choice of amphibian body.:P
pri 2
3) FRUPER: yes & art excel TTC (teachers’ training course)
Woohoo! i got another feather on my feathery cap!! 😛
i hate children, they look adorable from a distance and thats such a dangerous deception cos they get more and more disturbing as u inch closer.i anyway, gathered my guts, and took to learning to teach kids and teens, the art of living program. if truth be told, the exercise was more for personal growth than to serve. the processes are so profound yet simple. the ttc unravelled the mystery of being a great parent. if and when i bear my 13 babies, they are going to thank their stars barring the weekly spanking!:) Shreya and Mala didi are over grown kids who taught us to teach. Shreya;s is in her own magic world of bliss where anyone is invited and Mala didi, x-indian cricket team captain, is someone u want to eat up out of uncontrollable affection. adults are often stuck up, stressed and pseudo-successful while kids are noisy, free and laugh after a loud fart in public. The 15 days of TTC was a paradisiac medley of unlearning and learning!

pri 4

Other milestones include;

Not being crushed to death in the maha kumbh where a beautiful, petite, helpless girl like me went all alone:) Thats a news item in itself. click here to read abt that mad ride.

10th anniversary celebration of Sriguruji Art Academy in association with Hiranandani called MAD FEST 2013. The Academy was the brain child of my inspirational parents and the 3 day music, art and dance fest was nothing short of genius.

Creating history with a bunch of driven teachers in Chandrapur district. the aim- to teach 10000 youth in 30 days. much like manavathey in Karanataka. which was yet another mad ride.

Thanks 2013, for being lovely!

Hello 2014, better watch out… high standards have been set!

my grandma’s potion of bliss

14 May

what i am about to type now, can change ur life. well, or atleast ur taste buds.
i.e. my grandmother’s vethakozumbu (u r pardoned if u can’t pronounce that yet).
it is her bhramaastra. if aliens suddenly appear and decide to end this planet, my grandma’s vethakozumbu, when offered to them, will save our world.
but this delicacy requires to be made with a pure heart full of love and patience, along with a witch’s white hair, pinch of spinal cord powder of a saint and 3 drops of the chef’s blood. (got carried away in sad humor. just love and patience will do just fine:))
i have made my grandma’s vethakozumbu only 2 times in 27yrs of existence, and i would give myself an 8/10. i am quite a critic, so 8 is like winning master chef blindfolded.
vethakozumbu, by the way is a thick viscous liquid version of god, which can be mixed with hot rice and enjoyed or better still, as a side dish with curd rice. curd rice= tamil nadu. indians are so versatile with food that one dish can taste different in every bylane of the country. but as i hv established already, my grandma’s version is our saviour.

 
Ingredients to procure (for it to serve 4):
-tamarind (the size of a limboo)
-chana daal (1 tablespoon)
-hing (half teaspoon)
-methi seeds (half teaspoon)
-mustard seeds (1/3 teaspoon)
-curry leaves (5. its numerically good for me. u can put 6, 7 or max.8)
-sambar powder (2 pregnant tablespoons)
-jaggery (the size of half a limboo)
-wheat (1 tablespoon)
-red chillis (3)
-oil (5 tablespoons)
-salt (1/2 teaspoon)
-baby onions (chinna vengaayam) or for step motherly treatment u could instead use lady’s finger cut in 1 inch size. (15 pieces of either)
-sundakkai vathal (will be lost in translation- optional but traditional) (1 teaspoon)

 
Procedure:
the tamarind has to be soaked for a few minutes in hot water till its soft, after which u can squish the soul out of it.
let the oil heat up. shove in the mustard seeds so as to punish them till they pop madly.
chana deal, hing, methi seeds, curry leaves, red chillies (broken in 2), sambar powder, salt, jaggery, go into it in quick succession.
sundakkai vathal, if present can be fried in too.
add the baby onions/ bhindi.
sieve the tamarind juice and that goes in too. add 2 glasses of water.
throughout, keep the gas in sim. let it boil for some half hour. the liquid god should become half of its volume.
wheat should be dissolved in a tablespoon of water and made into cerelac consistency. this goes in after half hour of boiling.
its advisable to taste once in a while and balance out he flavors by adding salt/jaggery/tamarind/water.
let the magic potion boil out further for another half hour in sim.
bhramaastra is ready for use.

and my travel karma continues…

2 Mar

This is a hate mail for the unnecessary inconvenience that your unscrupulous team of AIR INDIA caused at the International CSIA airport on 1st March.

Against all intelligent advice, I went ahead and made the mistake of booking myself on an AIR INDIA EXPRESS flight to Mangalore from Mumbai (IX208) which is at 14.45pm.
I reached at 13.46pm on the counter and was informed that I cant check in. 1stly every national flight check in time is 45min prior to departure and no where did I get any intimation to be 3hrs before the required time, which is stupid by itself! I am a frequent flyer with another airline and fly nationally atleast 3 times a month.
 
There were 20 other passengers who were held back not to mention 50 other passengers who were held back for the earlier 14.30pm flight to hyderabad. 
after a lot of requesting, pleading, yelling (in that order); the 50 Hyderabad passegers were allowed to check in at 14.30pm! God knows why. The idea was to get rid of them I guess. But the Mangalore bunch was left behind and the uncouth, disgusting team of AIR INDIA, specifically : D.SATISH KUMAR, B.SAHA, S.FERNANDES, P. CARDOZ told us that they dint know we existed! We weren’t given our boarding pass because out of the 10 counters, NONE had any living beings on them cos all had absconded due to the chaos w.r.t the Hyderabad passengers. We bore the brunt of your pathetic team’s non-show and were detained in the International airport till 5pm with no hope whatsoever.
 
I found out that Air India and Jet Air has a tie-up and suggested a solution to the deaf and dumb team of people mentioned above, who then made a few calls to “higher ups” who I am safely assuming lead the way to insensitive behaviour of the rest of the gang at AIR INDIA. We were told that AIR INDIA EXPRESS is a step child of AIR INDIA and they cannot afford to shift us to  the JET AIR flight which I enquired was empty and was to leave at 6pm. After I personally got in touch with Reji Fernandes at AIR INDIA EXPRESS, I was informed that we can APPLY to get our money back or fly the next day. But I had a very important meeting with the Dean of a prestigious college, another family had to go for their father’s last rites…and so on.
We were all ambushed and cheated by our country’s national air line which is governed by you. When I told D. SATISH, that the family needs to go do the final rites of their relative, pat came the reply that in the past 3 months we have not let so many people go for final rites and even their own wedding. Many people have died it seems. ?!?
If you have even an iota of humanity in you, your team should send an apology to all the 20 passengers you inconvenienced and punish the team of 4 who tortured us, and not to mention, re-look into your ways of functioning. I even recommended that every passenger should get an sms a day before their flight intimating them that it’s from the International terminal and we have to be there 1.30 hrs before time. This can be an auto generated sms to every one with a AIR INDIA PNR. But Mr. Stupid B.Saha tells me “Do you know how many passengers fly AIR INDIA? We are under staffed and over worked”.. while he happily ate pan masala that someone offered. 
Soon, you will have no passengers, and Rs. 5000 crores from the Union Budget this year can be utilized to buy lifetimes worth of Pan Masala for every member in team AIR INDIA and of course their Step child EXPRESS.
 
I have taken pictures of what we were made to go through. I will make sure I do my best to make my voice heard in social media and the press. What I am afraid of is, that this mail will not prick your conscience at all cos I am sure your inbox is full of such mails.
As for now, I urgently need my money back. So please make sure you don’t take a lifetime to return my money and save your face.

super maha kumbh 2013!

17 Feb

i was at the maha kumbh people! exactly on mauni amavaasya (v.v.v.v.v.imp day to dip), i took dip right at the sangam spot:) means u shud ideally chase me down n rub ur head at my lotus feet. hehehe:)

ofcourse there is a story behind it all. a divine synthesis of scrupulous spontaneity.

a photographer friend and a marathon runner friend and i were to go initially to the kumbh together. photographer, cos it is paradise for people adept in clicking with those heavy expensive lens; the marathon runner cos walking a minimum of 25kms at the mela is a given; and i…well for no real reason. turned out that i was the only one who went after all! …all alone ( here i am not including the 3 crore people who came from all kinds of civilization)

so when i went to the kumbh, to my great relief i found that there is an art of living camp there. and believe u me, it was the prettiest, village themed camp. all the other baba and mata camps were wastefully flamboyant if the baba/mata was famous, and pathetically messed up if infamous. the entire 38km area was full of flimsy tents which wouldn’t keep u even slightly warm in the biting cold at night and will burn ur body in the harsh sun during the day. i, however, was housed in a cradle of comfort and affection at the prettiest cleanest aol camp:)Image

60yr old super dynamic roshni aunty who had come all the way from fiji island, and a nameless boy from pune joined me for the dip on d-day. we left at 8.30am in silence. (cos thats how it is to be done ideally, ‘mauni’ amavasya remember?) after 7kms, we reached sangam ka bank. there weren’t any boats plying earlier in the day but we got tremendously lucky and got a boat to the exact sangam spot for our dip! it was an exhilarating feeling and my eyes welled up. as i sat in the boat and turned my head, i saw oceans of people in all directions waiting for there super special chance. it was even more alleviating to realize how immaculately miscible the sangam is. so at any spot really, it’s perfect.

Image

when guruji was asked abt what the importance of the sangam snaan is, he said, our paap is so easy to wash away cos its simply like dirt on the surface of the body. so dipping in sangam is a prateek of that. meaning we are so pure within… no matter what. guruji added, ganga stands for knowledge, yamuna for love and when they meet, saraswati which is “gupt” ,manifests i.e. wisdom. epic explanation!

more than my legs which were giving way, it was more of a mind thing to get back to the camp after claustrophobically walking for total of 15kms to and fro.

the 3 of us, got back at 1.30pm. now, i had a train at 5pm. we were inside the kumbh area on the day of the biggest snaan, so not one vehicle is allowed to leave or enter the 38km zone. so i had to hurry to the station…WALKING. easily about another 15kms away. but i was no fierce bhakt like the 3 crore others whose avg. age was 60yrs., and had travelled in inhuman, adverse conditions to get here with tearing bags precariously balancing on their head supported by a frail yet committed body. i am a mumbai girl who goes to taj for dinner on her birthday. so i had to get a ride if i were to reach the station. i walked a km and hitch hiked with a local college boy who was super excited that i was of the opp. sex and from mumbai. double whammy. so we waded through the masses on his bike until he found me a cycle rickshaw. i knew he wud go to any extent to prove his machismo:) good for me! so this unknown guy who was clearly my knight in shining armor wrt kumbh, rode a good 10kms to get me out of that mad mad chakraview.

seriously. the kumbh seems like a place warped in time. i don’t know if it’s the tremendously high energy levels of the place because of the bhakts or something else..but one definitely gets a slight fear of being sucked into that energy forever. some alternate zone it is from where there is no way out literally and metaphorically, both!

nevertheless, when i got onto the rickshaw, my knight promptly asked for my ph.no and said he wud call me if he ever came to mumbai. 🙂 but i gave him a wrong number. still feel slightly bad abt it… i blessed him with all my heart though! …by now it was 4.30pm. the rickshaw guy was my grandpa’s age, if he were still around. i really had to keep a rock in my heart and keep telling him to ride a little faster while the world of people who were walking to the station were way faster than his rickety rickshaw!

luckily i got to allahabad station just in time. here i realized it dint matter whether i was before,on,or after time. nothing mattered actually. except saving dear life. cos i had entered the epicenter of a freaking concentration camp where i was sure to collapse out of lack of oxygen simply because all the people spread out in the 38km kumbh zone were now in one mini station. but i was determined to leave. so i invoked the jhansi in me and reached platform 10 where my train was supposed to be. there was no train yet. and for a while. there were people sitting even on the tracks.. and it was announced that u can get into any train if it goes to where u wish to go. with or without a ticket. in essence, they wanted us to just get lost. as fast as possible. are u at least getting a faint idea of the helpless breakdown of what i consider our fairly efficient rail duniya?

IMG_20130210_174445goes without saying, all trains were indefinitely delayed. cos they let every train fill to its brim before it left the station. now my e-ticket was wait listed at 5, so i technically was ticketless. but so were the other 20lakh people. i heard another train ready to leave for mumbai from platform 6. i fought for my life to climb up stairs from pt.10 to the bridge. i was very close to losing my right hand in the crowd cos my bag was stuck in the middle of a stampede. i reached the bridge half dead. turned left to walk to pt.6. but i got this sudden queer intuition that i shud go back to pt.10. it was strange cos i had a train waiting to leave for mumbai. still i immediately turned and walked back heeding to my inner voice which was starkly clear though the body it came from, was about to collapse. all the bsf and raf jawans i came across while i was clambering through hoards of people, told me to go back and stay in allahabad for the night if i cud, cos i was to travel alone. i did leave and i stayed with a new friend i made 2 days ago in the city. while her mum fed me hot rajma chawal at night, she watched in the news that pt.6 collapsed and 20 people died. it was more or less the same time that i was at the station.

that moment it was downright incontestable that throughout the odyssey of the maha kumbh, i was clandestinely taken care of at every inch i moved. an angel was assigned and it did its job exquisitely.

thanks angel.
thanks provider of angel.
i owe u one.
jai guru dev!

P.S: i went to kumbh the next day cos guruji was scheduled to come. spent super cute time with him. after 2 days, left kumbh in a car. felt uneasy. came back. missed flight. spent more time with guruji and managed to leave only in my 3rd attempt. believe u me, it was like this magnetic force which wanted to keep me there till the end of time. i am finally back to the wifi world. i m still figuring out if i am happy or sad~

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